Never, Ever Say/Allude/Infer “Not all ___” in an Argument. EVER.

It’s interesting to me how quickly people respond with “But I don’t do that” whenever a generalization is made. The compulsion to constantly reiterate “Not All ____” is strong in many people. There is a natural need to refute negative opinions, especially if you fall within a group that is being targeted.

Here’s the thing though – no one is targeting you specifically. And if the generalization doesn’t apply to you, then be grateful and move on. You do not need to defend yourself if you’re not guilty of the act, and you especially do not need to go out of your way to make it known.

“White people are racists.”
“Not me! No one I know is. #notallwhitepeople !!”

“Men are rapists.”
“I never raped anyone. #notallmen !!”

Congrat-u-fucking-lations! Consider yourself a decent human being and know that you aren’t the one being talked about. But there are millions of other people who fall into the category of “men” and “rapist”, “white” and “racist” that the generlizations are true. Overwhelmingly so.

If you have a problem with generalizations, there is something you can do about it: attack it. But don’t attack the people MAKING the generalizations — attack the people who CAUSE it. Are you a man and don’t want to be associated with rapists? Then talk about rape culture with other MEN so as to lessen the number of assaults. Are you white and tired of being lumped with racists? Well guess what — you can learn about critical race theory and work toward dismantling white supremacy by teaching other WHITE people about it. Call out racists when they’re being racists. Call out sexual harassment when you see someone (man or woman!) being inappropriate.

If it makes you uncomfortable that you can’t seem to disassociate yourself with these generalizations, then you’re in the right spot. You SHOULD be angry that there are a lot of scumbag men and a lot of racist white people in the world. But what are you going to DO about it?

The answer isn’t, and should never be, to argue against the people who are telling you that they have been hurt – multiple times and in multiple ways – by those particular groups. Because then all you’re doing is shifting the blame to the victim. It shows you’re not really interested solving the problem. Your “woe is me, boohoo, I hate these generalizations” don’t do anyone any good.  Hold the OFFENDERS RESPONSIBLE. Don’t sweep it under the rug because it’s easier to say or do nothing. That’s how we got into this mess.


I am a White Woman, and FUCK RACISM

I am a white woman. I just now deleted several paragraphs of rambling bullshit because I realize that I was digging myself into a hole. Who am I, having never experienced racism, to talk about racism?

I am a white woman, and I know racism exists in America. I am not so foolish to think or believe that it ever went away. There have been times, a lot of times, in my life where racism wasn’t on the forefront of my mind because I am typically surrounded by people who are also white.

I am a white woman, and racism has never affected my life. I have had many friends of other ethnicities flow throughout my life. But while I was with them, we did not encounter any sort of overt racism. At least not from my white point of view, which obviously could be wrong.

When I was in 5th grade, I lived in Kansas City, KS and was a minority in a primarily black school. There were a few times where I was mildly bullied, and maybe race played a part of it, but I never thought anyone making fun of me was doing so because I was white. It wasn’t even a thought in my mind. I figured they were making fun of me because I was new, and new is an easy target. Being 9-10 years old and never experiencing racism, I don’t think I would know what it looked or felt like even if it was happening. But I digress…

I am a white woman, but I am not shocked or surprised by what happened today. I look and hear and read the news of the bullshit that POC experience. I know it happens, and I know there is a lot more happening that isn’t being reported on. It happens every day to a lot of people.

I’m an overly empathetic white woman. I can imagine myself in other people’s shoes and feel their sorrows. I cry very easily and at everything. And while I know my imagination couldn’t possibly match the realism of those situations, it is not lost on me that I don’t know how it feels and I will probably never know how it feels.

When I see these messages, I know they are 100% correct.



It saddens me to the core to think about all the people out there who are not being treated as people. It completely baffles me that there are assholes out there who can look at a POC and think of them as subhuman. It blows my fucking mind.

I follow sociologist Dr. Tressie Mc, and I saw she wrote this, and I wanted to cry too…

Can you imagine having to defend yourself, every fucking day, that you’re worthy of being treated as an intelligent human being? I am a woman, so I kind of get it. But I know it is much, much worse for POC, especially WOC.


I replied to the first of the above tweets that I am actively teaching my children about race. Having rejoined twitter recently, I have found so many POC expressing how white people have a responsibility to stop avoiding racism as a topic of discussion. By never talking about race and race issues, we are being complicit and compounding the problem. I don’t want to be that person. I will admit that I am not at all an expert on racism. But I’m learning. I want to learn, and I want to be better, and I want to raise children who will stand up for anyone and everyone who is being bullied. My girls will speak up and stand up. And I’ll start teaching them by showing them how.

Good Rhetoric

Let’s talk about rhetoric.

The thing that drives me crazy about the internet is its overuse of hyperbole. You often see articles that say things like quotation marks so-and-so destroyed blah blah with such and such. Words like destroy, decimate, epic, hero are all being over used in an incorrect way. It creates a society that doesn’t know the proper definition of words and so when we start using phrases like “fake news”, people just jump on it to use on anything that they don’t agree with. 


Oddly enough a good example of Rhetoric came to light this evening. I had began the previous paragraph earlier in the day, so I find it a pleasant surprise.

I wrote it on Facebook, but I’ll copy it here.
Rhetoric matters. And this is how you do it…

“I’ve been pursuing this issue because the ethics program starts at the top. The signals a President sends set the tone for ethics across the executive branch. Tone from the top matters.  


“It’s important to understand that the President is now entering the world of public service. He’s going to be asking his own appointees to make sacrifices. He’s going to be asking our men and women in uniform to risk their lives in conflicts around the world. So, no, I don’t think divestiture is too high a price to pay to be the President of the United States of America.”
The link is a statement from the director Of the Office of Government Ethics regarding President-Elect’s and his appointees’ need to resolve conflicts of interests. 

He not only shows why it’s important, but also gives an example of one of Trump’s appointees successfully clearing the ethics process. 

While he says that Trump’s current plan to let his kids run his business will not work with government ethics, he adds, “Now, before anyone is too critical of the plan the President-elect announced, let’s all remember there’s still time to build on that plan and come up with something that will resolve his conflicts of interest. In developing the current plan, the President-elect did not have the benefit of OGE’s guidance. So, to be clear, OGE’s primary recommendation is that he divest his conflicting financial interests. Nothing short of divestiture will resolve these conflicts. ” 

He sums up his remarks with “It’s plain to see that none of this reflects any partisan motivation. All you have to do is imagine what

will happen if the President-elect takes this advice and divests. He’ll be stronger. He’ll have a better chance of succeeding. So will the ethics program and the government as a whole. And, in turn, America will have a better chance of succeeding. We should all want that. I know I want that.”
And while I think he says many great things and is overall very positive about his expectations, I will not at all be surprised when Trump gets on Twitter to start spewing more propaganda bullshit that he likes to do.

Right Wing, Help Me Understand

Research. I want to do so much of it right now.

The current political landscape is dividing the American people further and further. The propaganda spewing from the president-elect perpetuates this divide, and unless the “liberal elite” stop name-calling the other side, our world is doomed.

We need understanding and compassion. We need to be willing to talk and discuss ideas and theories without resorting to personal attacks. I know a lot of people are so unwilling to even listen to the other side, and it’s because each side has a huge amount of elitism and entitlement. 

Is it too late to stop this? Is it possible for people to learn humility, to be OK with how the other lives even if it isn’t how you would choose to live personally? 

I want to learn what people who support the president-elect hope for him to achieve. If it is for America to become less inclusive, to oppress rights of any group, or to help the rich get richer, then I really want nothing to do with you.

However, if you’re concerned with how things have been going, that there is something that hasn’t worked for you in the last 8 years because of policy, I want to know what it is. I think most people are concerned with just living their lives, and maybe some of the leftist policies interfered with the rights’ ideal life. But what? I really want to know.
It’s hard to write these posts while the kids are awake. I’ll edit and write another later.