Trapped at a Cross Road

I’ve hit a cross roads, and I’m turning into a huge bitch.

As I’m learning more about racism, white supremacy, and true feminism, I’m finding out that I want to be more than what I am. I don’t want to be status quo anymore. I want to be more than wife, mother, home-maker. I don’t feel like I’m actually good at any one of those, let alone all three put together.

I think what I want most of all is to be free. Free to make decisions about myself that isn’t being questioned or criticized by other people.

I blame twitter. Haha. I follow some strong women, many of whom I think are single and childless. They get to do whatever the fuck they want, and I yearn for the same.

I want to be a woman who isn’t being warned about the dangers of being outside late at night.

I want to make career choices without a “you might want to consider a fall back plan.”

I want a lot, and I will get very little of it. And that makes me anxious and angry and bitter.

I’m really feeling trapped, and I don’t know what to do about it.