I came up with a few ideas last night. I want to use my site to restart my love of photography. My camera has been collecting dust, which is such a shame. So I think I might spend a week taking photos, then once a week choose the best one to share. 

The first theme I’m going to do is “around the house”. My place is trashed, and I’m slowly working toward a huge purging. Although I have plenty of “before” photos, I’m going to take some more purposeful shots and detail my progress. 

I just need to choose a day of the week to make my weekly photo post. Maybe Mondays? 
So much organizing to do…

I Miss This

Ok, seriously. I’m having too much fun writing that I am going to stay up late and get some done!

Let’s talk the girls. I say the girls, but really what they are is my world. That’s an awkward sentence. Anywho! My life revolves around these beautiful little people, and I wouldn’t want it any other way.

But boy do they drive me crazy.

Poor K, my 9 month old, has five teeth coming in at once. Oucchh!! That cannot feel good. Which has really caused some crazy nights lately. She has always been a night owl ever since July when both kiddos came down with a nasty illness. I had sleep trained her, and it was working really well… then the five teeth started. Yay!

Probably because she was finally getting some sleep.

I think they’re all through now, but I am still dealing with the fallout of now having to start sleep training all over again. That’s a pain.

Then there’s O, 2.5 years old. She’s reached the stage where she has more agility, more confidence, more dexterity, more imagination. All these things are coming out all at once. It makes her so so so excited. She loves to learn, but I think more she loves to share what she has learned. It’s a sort of “Look at me and all the knowledge I have! I must vomit everything I know on you RIGHT NOW.” And then she does. But you always have to repeat back to her what she said so she knows you understood her.

She’s getting better lately at allowing me to acknowledge her words by continuing the conversation. It doesn’t always work, but it’s exciting when it does.

I treat both of them with a bit of a soft approach. Probably too soft for some. O is sensitive, and if I’ve learned anything so far, it’s that personality has a lot to do with it. K is less sensitive, but still needy all the same. She’s loudly needy, whereas O is wanting of cuddles and touching.

I think O has her molars coming in, which is just so fucking fantastic. Both kids crying at the same time is one of the worst sounds in the world. Especially to a mom. Because it goes right to your core and your whole body just feels so fucking uncomfortable. Uggghhhhh.

I laughed about it tonight though. It’s frustrating as all fucking hell, but it’s hilarious that I willingly signed up for this shit. The rewards outweigh the often overwhelming bad days where you get zero breaks and everyone is just WHINING right in your face.

But sometimes man…………….

Can’t I just have an hour of quiet me time without someone needing me?

Dusting off the Fingertips

The last real time I wrote something about myself, like a blog post or writing in a journal, had to be more than three years ago. With the exception of a few family drama outbursts, I just haven’t really put any time into me. Being me. Which is to say, writing about myself.

I’ve been on the internet for a long time. Which is a weird thing for me to write because I feel like surely everyone has been on in the internet for a long time. Nope. I guess I belong into a special subgroup of people. Huh.

Anyway, my youth was the early days of the internet. AOL chats, IMing on AOL, then AIM. There were other chat formats like ICQ. There was one I never used… gosh I can’t even think of it right now, but it was also a weird term.

Anyway, I knew my way around the internet. I was good at finding things. I loved looking at websites where it was a collection of images, pre-deviant art. I think it was called elf wood? It was fun.

Forum roleplay. Please tell me someone out there still does that. I miss it.

AOL used to have text commands that allowed you to roll dice. //roll would give you a roll of two six-sided dice. But you could customize the command to roll however many dice of however many sides you want. //roll-sides8-dice4  — Haha!

And aside from all those fun socializing thing was the good old online journal. Online diary? I was on Oh lord! Then there was livejournal, of course. Deadjournal was where I spent a lot of time writing about teenage woes of homework and odd social situations. Greatestjournal during my young dating years (cringe!). Xanga was in there, of course. All of it makes me cringe, really. But it was who I was. I was on the internet, and I wrote about my daily boring life.

And it helped me a lot. So much. I was a depressed teenager, and writing was my outlet. I could write about all the bullshit going on, all my feelings, and sometimes other people would read it and comment on it. I felt like if someone took the time to read and comment that maybe they actually kind of cared. Now, remember, these people reading my stuff wasn’t random internet strangers. They were my in person friends. It wasn’t very often that you would comment on a random stranger’s post back then.

Anyway…  I see two other paragraphs above this one that start the same way.

It’s actually been way longer than three years since I sat down and chronicled my life. When I met my husband, I don’t think I was doing it much back then. But as our relationship blossomed, I did it less and less.

Since all that, I have married and had two children. That’s a weird thing to say. But that really is my reality. Two young children… 9 months and 2.5 years. Right now they’re in an interesting stage. But I’ll save the details of that for another post. Let’s just say they are a driving force for me to get back into my writing.

Don’t get me wrong, I love them very dearly. But for the last three years, I have dedicated 20000000% of myself to them, and I’m feeling very lost and lonely. So here I am! I’m going to make my new domain soon. But until that time, I’ll be posting here.

Hi! Nice to meet you.